|ALBION IN LAVENDER
comic updated October 27, 2008
Not that there's anything wrong with it, but,
well, the world of Fable 2... is gay. I mean, literally. Close to half
of the male population of Albion is homosexual. There's no real closets for
'em to hide in, either -- they've got great big ol' heart icons floating
over their heads that indicate they're in man-love with my mighty, bearded,
and, might I add, straight-as-an-arrow Hero character.
I'm not exaggerating the ratios , either-- in
fact, there are so many gay villagers in Albion that a young man's distress
in one of the optional quests at revealing his true nature to his father
becomes absolutely laughable. Your dad wont understand that you're gay?
Look out the window, there's a gay farmhand and a gay weapon-seller coming
up the road. Every pub in Albion is a gay bar! I think your father will
understand; he knew your odds were fifty-fifty at birth.
Now, it should be noted that the original Fable
had a few gay villagers -- one or two per village, which was, at least,
keeping to a fairly realistic ratio for this sort of thing. The
purpose of the gay villagers -- or the straight, unmarried villagers, for
that matter -- was to provide a marriage prospect for your Hero, should
you suddenly decide that one of the identical-looking-and-sounding villagers
really struck your fancy.
Well, Fable 2 takes place five hundred years
after the events of the original Fable, and the population of Albion
has skyrocketed... somehow. Because, frankly, the numbers just don't add
up. The simple fact is, with infant mortality rates, bandit, hollow
man, hobbes, banshee and troll attacks on every connecting road, either 50%
of the men in Albion are fathering at least eight children each, or the good
people of Albion have simply devised a more-novel method of
It's clear that the inclusion of this
number of gay villagers was a measure to provide a wider selection
of potential mates to the player, regardless of who the player was,
which was nobel enough if only from a marketing perspective... but perhaps
the wiser course in this instance, for the sake of realism,
would have been for the game to take a wait-and-see approach in
regards to which gender the player's character takes an interest in,
and THEN determine who comes out of the woodwork. Just a suggestion, for
I don't anticipate them releasing a patch for
this one, because that would be gay.
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