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Hsu and Chan in "Sights For Sore Isotopes"

It's grooming day, and Chernobyl's sick -- the kind of sick that threatens to DESTROY THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. We've all been there! See the boys exercise plausible clinical deniability as they struggle to bring their radioactive chipmunk back the radiant glow of well-being-- which, in his case, still represents a class-7 health hazard. 3 pages.

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Violence Man in "Scarred Straight!"

There is a crisis afflicting the nation's youth: they're miserable little turds. Witness Violence Man as he conducts an inner city youth counseling program, incorporating elements both of positive reinforcement and blunt trauma! 6 pages.

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The Otters in "The Survivors!"

Tarzan. Robinson Crusoe. Jennifer Lopez' ex-husband. And now, the Otters. Scamp, Chip, Max, Sid and Andy, bemoaning their shameful lack of survival skills, spend a week or so in the unforgiving wilderness of their local park grounds. But do sinister forces lurk beneath the well-trimmed wild topiary? See the boys' survival prospects drop significantly when they encounter ACTUAL obstacles in the exciting adventure, "The Survivors!" 12 pages.

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