|SUFFER LIKE G DID?
Comic Updated August 20, 2008
There's a new House of the Dead a-coming, one
not developed in Japan, and while I honestly can't make any observations
about the gameplay except that it involves shooting zombies with the Wiimote,
advertising is pushin' all of my buttons, the dirty boogers. The
commercial even ends with a doctored Drive-In theater ad. Oh, man.
You may wonder, "Will the acting be on par with
the voicework in House of the Dead 2?" Well, that's a hard one to answer,
because development is now taking place in London, and it's entirely possible
that only the Japan studios knew the secret to making lumps of wood talk,
and mumble out such lines as "We're meeting G over there," and "I don't want
to die," mystically delivered with the exact same levels of emotion and
If you HAVEN'T played "House of the Dead 2," you
really owe it to yourself to either check out the re-release on the Wii,
or go on a little Youtube safari to see what you've been missing. The
voice-acting in "House of the Dead 2" is literally worse than the voice-acting
in "Resident Evil." Remember "You, the master of unlocking" and "I was almost
a Jill sandwich?" Not even close, brothers, not even close. Heck, the
voice-acting in "House of the Dead 2" is even worse than the acting in the
"House of the Dead" movie, directed by Uwe Boll.
Note: I am NOT saying I'd rather watch the movie.
"House of the Dead 2" is a lot of fun, regardless of the
Oh, but such voicework! A special award of recognition
should be made to the person, or thing, that played Goldman, the head bad
guy of that go-around. His delivery, his accent, his voice -- no single line
was like any other; each was a unique snowflake of awfulness. He goes from
sounding as if he's channeling Stephen Hawking's voicebox with his reading
of "Dogs of the AMS -- Time they made a move," to actually slipping into
a John Wayne impersonation with the line, "...man's original responsibility
-- to protect the life cycle!"
Anyways, do some research, you'll be enchanted
by what you find. Also -- THEY CAME FOR BRAINS -- YOU'LL GIVE THEM BULLETS.
Remember, brand-new Hsu and Chan in the E-Comic
E-Comic Store Here!