The saucer landed on a hill just above Old Man Hubert's farm, a mile west of Old Man Smithers' ranch, and a couple blocks from the home of Middle-Aged Bob. Me and Chuck were the only ones who saw it land, like a green fireball descending into the treetops. Something was on top of that hill. We had to look.

Chuck, who was braver than me, took the lead. I, being smarter than Chuck, kept a steady eye on our escape route. We entered the woods from the road, trudging our way up the steep hillside for about fifteen minutes before we reached the clearing. I saw a squirrel, but didn't tell Chuck, seeing as he was preoccupied.

The hilltop was bathed in eerie green light from a huge, metallic orb in the center of the clearing. Two creatures stood outside it, surveying their surroundings. They were about four feet tall, with multiple tentacles instead of legs and giant eyeballs in place of their heads. They communicated to each other through an elaborate series of blinks which I could not comprehend. Suddenly, they stopped, and looked up.

"Who blinked?" came a telepathic voice in my head. "Somebody up here totally blinked!"

I realized that the creature must have meant either Chuck or myself -- no doubt their blink-based system of communication had made them especially sensitive to instances of blinking, no matter what the blinker's species. On the other hand, if they communicated by blinking that much, why did they also have telepathy? I didn't have time to determine whether I had discovered a plot hole or not before a tentacle shot out into our hiding space behind the trees and snagged Chuck. He was dragged forward mercilessly, tossed into the air, and eaten. The creature then shook for a moment, then rose to its full height and looked right at me.

"Aha, another earthling!" the creature's telepathic voice said, sounding eerily like Chuck. "Come forward -- no doubt you have many questions for us."

"Yes," I said, stepping forward cautiously on trembling legs. "For instance, how did you just eat my friend, when you don't have mouths?"

"Our ways are no doubt mysterious to you," the creature thought, "But do not be afraid. Eating a person and absorbing his essence is merely how we greet one another on our homeworld. Since you are the last person in the immediate vicinity, we will refrain from eating you, as the courtesy would be wasted without an audience."

"Thank you," I said. "Can you tell me what it is you creatures want with our planet?"

"Nope," thought the creature.

I waited, but that seemed to be it.

"So, I guess I'll just be leaving, then."

"As you wish," thought the creature. "Give my best to Margie."

And so I left that strange hilltop, unsure of why the creatures had come, and trying to remember if I had ever met anyone named Margie. I never saw the alien creatures again.

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