Spirits of the underworld, we gather this night to pull back the gray veils separating our worlds! This night, we call forth one who walks amongst you! Spirit of Elias P. Thromstrum, enter the mortal sphere!

Wipe your feet!

The energies are optimum, this night, for a migration. Great things are going to happen, this night. All is still, still as the calm before a summer storm. Hence why nothing seems to be happening. I take this opportunity to remind my honored clients that there are no refunds.

Elias P. Thromstrum, I call you forth! Come back to the world which once was your own! Show yourself to we, who shall one day be as you are!

What, you got better things to do? Come on.

Did you feel that? A tremor! A disturbance! You don't own a dog, do you? I thought not! Clearly, denizens of the hidden world are amongst us tonight!

Elias P. Thromstrum, are you in this room? If you are, give us a sign!

I repeat, Elias P. Thromstrum, if you are in this room, give us a sign!

How about in the next room? If you're in there, that would also be sufficient grounds for you to give us a sign! Ditto the yard!

There! There it is! It is a little-known fact that spirits are partial to the tipping-over of small object on tables when it comes to giving signs to the mortal world -- they're not very creative! Do not break the circle! Whatever happens, whatever horrible things you see or hear, do not break the circle! It's like leaving the bathroom without flushing -- very poor manners. I will now attempt to speak to the spirit!

Elias P. Thromstrum -- spirit of the hoary netherworld -- creature from beyond the black depths...

...

...Actually, this has never worked before, so I didn't really have anything prepared. Lemme see if I can grab one of my notecards outta the bag with my toes. ::grunt!:: Almost... almost there... There! I got my sock off!

Hey, shut up, I walked here, okay?

Let's see... Wait, no, that's a parking pass. Gimme a second -- hey! Where are you going? We have not yet communed, spirit of the--

What a jerk.

Norm's Link-o-th'-Moment:

Stomp-Tokyo

That's entertainment!