| UFO
SIGHTINGS
I'm a sucker for UFO documentaries. Whether
the UFO phenomenon signifies the visitation of actual alien spacecraft or
not, I neither know nor care (I mean, in context of a documentary -- if we're
talking outside, then I can probably muster some emotional response).
I'm just in it for entertainment value, and in this respect, most current
UFO documentaries fail spectacularly.
Hence, I am a sucker. If they were awesome,
I'd be a 'satisfied viewer,' and there'd really be nothing to write about.
I'm particularly fond of antecdotal UFO stories,
because when you're talking to people, face to face and off the record, well,
they know that the awe-quotient of "There was this light in the sky, and
I watched it for a minute, and then it disappeared" is poor-to-middlin' from
even the most generous critic, and so they usually have the good manners
to embellish things a bit. Throwing in a spectacular dip or weaving maneuver
is a good start, but if you're telling me a UFO story, man, go for broke,
I'm not gonna verify it. Tell me you saw some short, pale thing dart into
the woods just before you saw the UFO take off, or that you experienced 'missing
time,' I'll eat that junk up. I really am a sucker.
The History Channel regularly provides UFO-related
programming as a counterbalance to their daily Hitler coverage, and tonight
was no exception; there was a program detailing numerous sightings of 'USOs,'
or Unidentified Submerged Objects. Mostly, they were strange lights, which
is just fine, but they also extended the field to strange SONAR readings,
and that, to me, is the equivalent of photographing 'spirit orbs' -- in other
words, flagrantly cheating in the most boring way imaginable. There are always
going to be big things underwater, in the same way that you're gonna get
occasional light spots on your photographs. Pretending they're some kind
of supernatural phenomena and not just wayward dust specks cheapens both
the speaker and the listener, and gives Jonny-Come-Latelies license to get
away with some of the most dull and uninspiring tales of the unknown, ever.
Don't do it.
One of these days, I'll tell you of my experience
with a lake monster! No lie!
|
