I'm ashamed to admit that I watched just about
three whole minutes of "A Goofy Movie" on the Disney Channel today.
It should be noted that, while I have great
respect for many of the past works of the Disney Animation company, I revile
just about every last one of their half-hour animated series featuring
revisionist views of their classic characters -- save "Duck Tales," which
were based largely on the works of the great Carl Barks. Of all those other
revisions, however, I have a special, cold, pitch-black place deep in my
gallbladder reserved specifically for the abomination that was "Goof Troop."
I'm not gonna get too deep into this part,
because there's easily a week's worth of whining about this in me, but I
will say this -- the REAL Goofy is probably childless, but if we accept his
having a child as series canon, then it is the red-haired child he was depicted
with in various short films of the nineteen-fifties, and the child's name
was 'Junior,' not 'Max.' I'm not even going to get into how Pete squares
with his earlier incarnations, save to note that he was always
Mickey's arch-nemesis, and scarcely dealt with Goofy at all -- making
"Goof Troop" the equivalent of a sitcom featuring Batman living next door
to Lex Luthor.
I secretly hope that I'm the first person to
ever compare Batman with Goofy, but I rather doubt I can claim the honor.
Anyway, the three minutes of "A Goofy Movie"
I watched were both wretched and derivative, but it's not like I wasn't expecting
it, so I can hardly complain. What struck me about it, however, was how well
it was animated. It was animated very well, indeed! How depressing is that?
Good, American animation (or French or Korean, depending on whether or not
it was outsourced) wasted on a movie which, if it DIDN'T go directly to video,
sure should've. It's no wonder Micheal Eisner declared that 2-D animation
was dead -- anybody who saw the quality of the animation in this thing and
compared it with what would inevitably have been some godawful reviews and
tepid box-office reciepts would have simply assumed that the artform had
run its course... and that's why they're currently shoving CG bugs and farm
animals down our throats.
Assuming they left any of the 2-D animators
alive at Disney, somebody needs to unchain 'em and get 'em onto some project
worthy of their skill.
By which I mean, of course, "Lady and the Tramp